i want to get lost in a bottle of vodka, or a bottle of whip its. i just need to be somewhere else where none of this can get me again. where noone can break my broken heart again. where they can't disappoint me. they've cut my wings, but i feel them wanting to break my skin and take me away. and i need you with me on this trip to nowhere, to this place where i can smile and it won't have to mean im pretending to be happy. i'd rather her think im happy than to let her see me sad and waste "concerned" feelings on me. i know i can be happy, cause i once was, but i know now, not here. not on this floor, not in this hole in the wall. i love my friends, i love my mom and sisters and brothers, but we're all lost because of you, because you didn't care for a while, and now you don't but only for a little while. i know only for a little. only thing is, is that im older, and now i don't care as much as i did when i was younger. now i can leave and you can't stop me. your bad decisions won't phase me as much... hopefully